How To Win Compassionately

The sword tip waved within a few inches of myHow do you play to win in business without losing
belly. I stood there, waiting, and then- clang- sheyour heart, and without hurting anyone?
rushed at me, forcing me back down the strip,Keys to Winning
and made the touch on me. I lost."And you've just won what's behind the blue
I had beaten her easily for a few months- whichdoor...."
is no surprise, because I used to fenceEvery competitive game defines how it's won. In
competitively. Although she was a novice, shefencing, it's the first to five touches, which is far
beat me on that touch. If it wasn't completely skilldifferent than dueling, where it's the last person
(although there was that), and it wasn'tleft alive. Look at the environment of your game,
experience (I had years more than she did), whatand define the goal so that no one needs to get
made the difference?hurt for you to achieve your win.
She had taken to heart my advice from theThe guidebook discusses in detail how to do
week before: play to win.heart-centered goal planning, but right now, take
Play to win? Isn't that attitude for heedless,some time in your heart and see if you can find a
heartless business people?business goal that feels achievable, fun to work
Well, it depends on how you define 'winning.' Manytowards, and simultaneously helps you and helps
of us think about winning as 'I win, you lose.' But,your customers?
if you go to your trusty dictionary (Ever noticeLove's labor lost.
how often I go back to the dictionary? It's aIf you are leery about playing to win, or have
treasure trove of understanding and wisdom.) aperhaps been raised to think that competition or
different story emerges.winning is 'bad' 'unlady-like' or some other thing,
Merriam-Webster explains the history of the wordstart by asking your heart: what will happen if I
'win.' It comes from Old English and Old Highwin? What kind of assumptions does your mind
German meaning 'to struggle.' And, before that,hold about winning? Who won't like you, or reject
probably from Sanskrit meaning 'desire.'you if you win?
Desire. Yearning. Passion. Are those sounding aWe take on all kinds of beliefs and patterns about
little more heart-centered to you?winning based on what happened earlier in life. You
I enjoy the heck out of playing to win. It's FUNcan start to clear some of these beliefs by facing
watching my clients have breakthroughs- and thethem, and letting yourself fully feel the emotions
results that go with them, as they get closer andand stories surrounding them. And then sitting in
closer to their goals. It's FUN watching myyour heart and asking to see a deeper truth
business accelerate and grow financially.about them.
It's FUN to win.Take your time with this process. The deeper
Simply 'being in service' can become a littletruth your heart shows you may take a little
mealy-mouthed after awhile. Playing to win addswhile to surface. Let yourself be willing to be
some zing.surprised.
The deadly problem? Isolation.Winning really doesn't matter.
In fencing, it's a game. The swords have littleIn college I was competing in the New England
blunt buttons on their tips, and we wearchampionships for fencing. In my final bout, my
protective clothing. I play to win, because theopponent and I threw all that we had at each
environment is set up so that no one gets hurt. Ifother. At the final touch, I lost 4 to 5.
the swords were real, I wouldn't want to play toBut, we both took off our masks in
win. I'd be setting my sword aside, and makingastonishment- it had been magical, where we
every effort at peacemaking I could.were both in the zone. I still remember it as my
If the game is set-up so that no one gets hurt,all-time favorite bout. I truly didn't care whether I
and that winning doesn't mean life or death, thenwon or lost. But if I hadn't played to win, it
it becomes fun. Connect 'being in service' withwouldn't have been as magical.
'playing to win,' whoo-wee boy! Look out there,Now, go out there and play to win.
here we come.Compassionately.